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The Scam

I have absolutely no idea why I fell for it.  After all, I am a college-educated individual.  A state college, sure (and Missouri at that), but I should have known better.  No, I did not fall victim to the classic e-mail scam: “Please to send monies for orfanige in Africka.  I have many dollars in millions to gives you, kind freinde.”  It was more subtle than that.  (No, it wasn’t.)

I fell for the classic “Order these magazines for a dollar, and receive them for a year!  No questions asked!  Come around the back of the warehouse and ask for Slippy!” scam.  The worst part of the scam: I ordered TIME Magazine.  Or, more correctly, TIME “Magazine”.  It was more like reading a political pamphlet that also happened to discuss whether or not spanking your kids would prevent them from playing the oboe well.  The copies of TIME made great filler material for other junk mail I took out in the trash weekly.  I only paid the dollar the first year, and I caught it today before I was charged an exorbitant amount.

In addition, I also received copies of Sports Illustrated, a year-long diary devoted to the failures of Kansas City’s teams (in all major sports).  You have to hand it to Kansas City, though.  At least we’re not Detroit.  I’ll admit SI was a worthwhile magazine.  I passed many a bowel movement reading the complexities of introducing instant replay into Major League Baseball.  My final opinion on the matter: I should not eat so much Taco Bell.

Thank God I was checking my account balance tonight before Christmas shopping, or else I would not have caught the charges to my account.  So when you open your gift from me, be proud that it helped me not to get scammed this year.  Also be proud that you’ll be the only person on your block to received thrift store underwear.  (Motto: the stains give it character!)

You know you’ve been part of a shady deal if you type “TWX Magazine” into Google, and the first 50 results come up:

TWX*Magazine Complaints: Scam Practices
Ripoff Report: TWX Scam Magazine
Beware TWX Magazines . . .

And so on.

I never did see a link to their actual website, which is probably loaded with more viruses than Paris Hilton.  Hey-oh!  I object, and let that be stricken from the record. (Sustained)

From these helpful websites, I was able to get a hold of the right number to call (1-800-UGOTSCAMMED) to get the transaction refunded and my subscriptions cancelled.  I talked to the VERY friendly automated system (I think she was hitting on me) and went through the exactly eleventy bazillion options to find out how to actually rid myself of the godforsaken magazines.  I now have a confirmation number. Let’s see . . . it’s . . . 12345678.  Darn it.

It’s not too often you can get one over on ol’ Paul.  But if you do, boy do I go for it!

I’d love to continue this diatribe, but I see I have some new e-mails I need to take advantage of to get great deals from Canadian pharmacies, job offers where I can work 1 hour a week and become a millionaire, and a GREAT deal on National Geographic for a year!

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