Home > Everything Else > I Have the Worst Musical Taste Ever (And I Love It!)

I Have the Worst Musical Taste Ever (And I Love It!)

Throughout my day, I receive a lot of feedback from many people.  Most of it is positive, like “Your breath smells less bad today.  Congratulations,” or, “I can see you’ve washed your hair in the last month.  That’s quite the improvement.”  It really builds my self esteem.  Just when I get to this high point of “Your shoes match today.  Good job,” someone has to come along and mock me relentlessly for my taste in music.  Mostly, that someone is my wife, but that’s beside the point.  I do hear it from others as well.

I do not see any problem with my choice of music, but that is mainly because I am tone-deaf and have suspect oral hygiene.  (I’m not sure exactly what my rotting teeth and puffy gums have to do with poor musical taste, but I’ve never been shy about how I let my body fall into neglected, diseased pieces.)  I have complied a short list of bands I like.  You will probably tease me to no end also, but I risk being vulnerable because I love you, my readers, so gosh-darn much.  Here goes:

U2 (I am, apparently, 40 years old at heart)
-Live (and I appreciate men who sing way too high)
Linkin Park (I don’t know why, either)
Good Charlotte (because there’s a little teen angst in all of us)
Tokio Hotel (strange, because I haven’t worn black nail polish in years. I’m trying to jump on the bandwagon before they get talented)
-God help me, I still don’t mind listening to Creed (everyone needs a little convoluted, watered-down spirituality)

There is a whole host of other musicians I could put on this list, but I believe it’s diverse enough that I can poke fun at them (and myself) for a reasonable amount of time.  Plus, if you don’t understand my criticism of one band, you should be able to for another and be able to laugh along.  I’d like to tackle these bands one at a time, to help you (and me, actually) figure out why in the world I would listen to such drivel when other great bands exist and make relevant, competent music.

U2– Many people can’t figure out why I would listen to a band whose biggest album came out when I was 3, but I can’t help it.  In 2001, I got hooked on the classics U2 put out, and have learned to tolerate the passable garbage they have put out since. Bono, either go to every foreign dignitary in a vain attempt to save the world or sing.  And the world would prefer you do the latter.  Thank you.

Live– Again, this band’s heyday was well before I was of music-appreciating age.  A distinct blend of Eastern symbolism American spirituality (menthol, of course), Live embodied the confused youth of the early 90s (who, coincidentally, wore oversized plaid shirts with torn-up jeans).  Since then, they have put out a string of feel-good, “love everybody” tunes that have not done well anywhere in the world except Australia.  No one likes Australia.  Not even Australia.  They’re like the France of the Southern Hemisphere.

Linkin Park– No one has perfected the “sing quiet, then the other guy raps, then I scream like a pinched toddler” formula quite like LP.  Kudos to them for making so much money that they can take baths in gold doubloons.  You will never find a band that uses the words “pain” and “shut up” in such a formidable way.  Sure, we can mock them, but they laugh all the way to the bank to cash a solid gold check.

Good Charlotte– Yes, we understand, you were picked on in high school.  It’s time to move on and become a member of the tax-paying adult community.  You have a receding hairline and are still writing songs about not getting picked for the junior varsity baseball team, we get it.  That’s all I can say.  They’re really that one-dimensional.

Tokio Hotel– I realize they’re not any good.  Don’t even point that out.  My point is, they will be good. Five years from now, when you’re all wearing their t-shirts, let this serve as a reminder that I posted this on October 11th, 2009.  I just bought the new album, and it’s mostly bad.  Still, it’s ten times better than the previous offering that was vomited from the dregs of “Record Companyland”.  What can you expect?  They’re German.  (No offense to the Germans, though I don’t know why it wouldn’t be offensive.)

Creed– I could never figure out if Creed was singing about God or psychedelic mushrooms.  “Can you take me higher?”  It was always so shrouded in mystery that I had no clue.  I suppose it’s in the eye of the beholder, assuming the beholder is stupid and 14.  I heard they are putting out a new album.  I just (as I am writing this) watched a video of the new single, and I must admit I am ashamed to witness the shameless cashing-in of past glory.  Good for them, ha!

If you loved this, let me know.  If it made no sense and flew completely over your head, let me know in that case as well.  I WILL post something very soon in which I will be writing my own songs.  Plus, I will be needing your input.  Did somebody say “exciting“?  No?  Did anybody at least say, “marginally thought-producing“?  Not that either?  Forget it, then.

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  1. kccopywriter
    October 12, 2009 at 11:43 am

    I’m an alternative/hard rock music person at heart. Yes, I loved U2 in college. My top groups are not popular at all but have influenced the likes of Third Day, Newsboys etc. One of the groups, Jacob’s Trouble, is still my favorite today even though they’re not together.

    Another top fave is the 77s. You probably have never heard of them but they have influenced the likes of Whiteheart and other Christian rock groups. I also like Gospel, Jazz and Soul. But I listen to classical most of the day since I write/edit/create all day.

    Good music is hard to come by. I wish it wasn’t tied to money and radio play but that’s me.

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