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The Iron Stomach

I’m looking to get a new nickname.  Based on the video you will soon see, I’m thinking one of these:

–The Iron Stomach

–The Garbage Disposal

–Mexfoodicus, the Destroyer of Tacos

This will replace my current nickname, “Sewerbreath”.  Not my favorite name, but that’s what happens when you let an ex-girlfriend name you.  After you dump her.  For someone better-looking.  On her birthday.  In front of her parents.  By text message.

I realize this video clocks in at just over 7 minutes.  I wanted to warn you up front, but also let you know it is totally worth the time.  Use the bathroom, pull up a chair, grab a beverage and a snack, and watch the effortless conversation take place.  I’d like to thank DeWayne and Mike for helping me capture such great video, as well as providing great material for me to play off of.

Well, here’s the setup: De Wayne and I have been going to Dixon’s Famous Chili for about 6 years now because of the all-you-can-eat taco special they have every day.  The first time we went was Thanksgiving 2003, because I was bored and needed to feed my food addiction prior to attending 2 dinners.  I stopped at 10 tacos that day because, hey, a guy has to save room for dinner.  Ever since then, I’ve done my best to topple my personal record.  My previous best is 15 tacos, which not very many people have touched.

You may be asking, “What is your secret to overeating?”  It’s simple.  I’ve done it so many times that I’ve learned to live with feeling uncomfortable.  When you feel the rush of having fresh tacos piling up in your esophagus, you are starting to feel my discomfort.  When you gauge how full you are by whether or not you have food resting against your trachea from the inside, you can truly understand who I am.  I am that boa constrictor you see on the Discovery Channel unhinging its jaw to swallow an antelope whole.

I began Saturday by prepping my body for maximum food overload.  I took full advantage of my bathroom beforehand, followed by a strict liquid diet of a 24 ounce can of Arizona Tea to open my stomach without using actual food.  The rest is history.

Let’s just say I didn’t eat another meal that day.

Any more name suggestions based on this video?

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  1. Mizzle Owizzle
    August 23, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    I still can’t believe it! What a self loather! Seriously though, both you and DeWayne did an excellent job! The video turned out Great!

  2. Pauly Wauly
    August 23, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    WELL DONE!!!

  3. Jennifer
    August 23, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    That’s so 7 minutes of my life that I don’t get back…*sigh*

  4. Jennifer
    August 23, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    PS, I vote Mexfoodicus, all the way.

  5. Josh (#1 Fan)
    August 23, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    Nicely done, Garbage Disposal. Nicely done.

  6. August 27, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    How about “Day-after-bathroom-clogger” ! HA!
    I love YOU, but I do not love it when you eat more than 5 tacos.

    🙂

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