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I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

I’ll save you the background on my topic today. If you need a little explaining, CLICK HERE. That should tell you all you need to know. Long story short, WordPress (my blog host) tells me how some people have found my blog, including search engine terms that people have used that brought them to me (and my waiting trap). Here’s a smattering of terms, plus my commentary.

–“a thin clown and a fat clown” I can’t think of one instance in which I talked about a thin clown and a fat clown. Though, if I did, I would probably tell you the story of a thin clown named Lumpy, and a fat clown named Stretch. “The Lumpy and Stretch Show” would draw crowds from far and wide to the Arkansas State Fair. I don’t really know where to go from there. Lumpy would probably get really bad ringworm and die. I’d work it in somehow. Ringworm awareness is paramount.

–“4 letter word for compulsive that ends in” Ends in what? I must know! It is a “strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, especially one that is irrational or contrary to one’s will” that I have to find out what that 4-letter word for compulsive ends in! In case you didn’t already catch on, I was defining compulsive behavior within my commentary. Jeez, pay attention.

–“disgusting” That about sums this blog up.

–“crazy two latter words” Can anyone help me decipher what this means? “Latter” means “near or comparatively near to the end” (I’m giving dictionary.com a real workout here), so are there words at or near the end of a sentence that are crazy, or did the person typing this search mean to type “letter”? In that case, what is a crazy two-letter word? Id? Ow? I’m lost.

–“famous nose piercings” Is this famous people who have nose piercings, or is it nose piercings that have become famous on their own? I assume the “latter” (see above). I can only really think of one famous nose piercing. Paula Cole’s nose piercing has since gone on to put out a decent record, though critics universally panned it. Just where have all the cowboys gone?

–“crazy letter words” Does this mean there are words with crazy letters? Like “über” and “El Niño”? Look at all those crazy letters! Or . . . would that only include crazy words that are created using letters, like “Lake Titicaca” (sound it out, kids), and “voluminous”? Those words are also marginally crazy. When will the craziness end?

–“why do men have competitive nature” I’ll tell you why men have to be competitive! It’s because there are such things (separately) as screaming and competitions. Put them together, and it’s video gold!

–“kylebaxterproject isn’t funny” Who ever said this was intended to be a comedy blog? This is real life. From the streets. Seriously though (as serious as ever), that search is HILARIOUS. I can only assume it was on purpose, to see if I would catch it. Does anyone want to admit to it? I about fell off my couch. Bravo!

–“the word crazy in crazy lettering” Well, of course you can’t have the word “crazy” in normal letters. It loses the whole effect. For instance:

Crazy

vs.

CrAZy!

See the difference? And finally:

–“yo yo ma cello nickname” I’m not sure exactly what this person was searching for. Perhaps finding out the nickname of Yo Yo Ma’s cello? Would that be in place of his cello’s real name? As in, his cello’s name is Luther, but its friends (the viola and the clarinet) call it Bubba? Wait, I know! This person was actually searching for “Yo Mama jokes” and just had a misspelling. They probably couldn’t remember the setup for the old gag, “Yo Mama’s so big, wooden, and covered with strings that the kids call her ‘Cello’.”

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