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Hobbies

As you can probably tell, my main hobby is writing way too much and posting ridiculous videos starring myself.  Fortunately, I am not alone in my pointless pursuits.  I have since pulled others into my web of inane endeavors like some sort of otherworldly vortex.  Here are a couple of user submissions I have received.  I call it “Fan Art”.  I think you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.

This first bit of Fan Art comes straight from the President of the “Fans of the Kyle Baxter Project” group on Facebook.  Look us up!  Below is President James Koppang (http://www.jameskoppang.com) doing what he does best at work (goofing around on the computer when he should be taking care of claims).  If his bosses are reading this, then I’m sure he was on his lunch break when this was taken.  I have no proof, but neither do they.  Seriously, James is my insurance guy, and has been for 2 years.  He was my insurance guy even before he started sucking up to me with pictures like this:

koppanglovesbaxter

You have to appreciate his attention to detail.  He’s on the Fans of the Kyle Baxter Project group page, and is very happy to be dong so.  Thanks, James!  You’re an inspiration to us all!

This next bit of Fan Art comes from Josh Webb, who slaved over a hot Microsoft Word to bring you this next submission.  He made this image using a copyright-free image, WordArt, a little elbow grease, toothpicks, a yo-yo, and 9 square feet of corduroy.  My eyes misted up a little when I saw the effort that Josh put into this.  Thus, I have labeled him my “#1 Fan”.  The rest of you can fight it out for #2-#100,000.  The top spot belongs to Josh.

unclesam1

Anyone who is anyone will notice that this picture is a reference to my last video post, A Source of Inspiration.  Apparently, Josh was inspired enough to create this masterpiece.  Top that (send money).

In my short time blogging, I have noticed there is no middle ground as it pertains to love for my blog.  Some people really go for them (i.e., James and Josh), and shout encouraging things at me when I pass them on the street like, “Great video!”, “Good job beating that bed-wetting problem!”, or “My cat licks orange mold off the shower curtain, too!”  (Many of you probably haven’t read that one, and it’s one of the best.)  Conversely, some people absolutely hate to get on here and read my work (which I have conveniently created in snack-size portions).  I can only assume they are either:

A) Illiterate, or

B) Lazy

Saddest of all is that the people I work with (whom I hound daily to find this blog, read every word, and write a 10-page report due the following day) are starting to lose respect for me.  My employees mock my dancing, my video quality, and of course, my face.

I need to incorporate some kind of other hobbies that people actually respect.  If I do take up another hobby, it should be one that everyone can relate to, like model train collecting, quilting, or smoking.  That ought to drive up the hits on this site.

The biggest problem I have getting traffic to my blog is that kids these days don’t like to read.  So much reading is forced down their throats their whole lives in school that they carry an eternal disdain for reading, because it feels like work.  The most frustrating part is the inane things they have to read, namely Huckleberry Finn, anything by Robert Frost, and textbooks.  That’s entirely too much.  Once they have the hang of phonics, let them roam free in their new-found literacy!  Comic books, cereal boxes, and of course, the Kyle Baxter Project are all sources of useful information that will not bore children into hating to read.  I blame the schools for why more people don’t read this.

On the other hand, maybe they are not reading me right.  If someone is hard of hearing, it might make them feel like they need to withdraw from auditory interactions, to avoid embarrassment.  I know I would not want to tell someone to speak up until they are practically yelling just to tell me what the “Soup of the Day” is (it’s Vegetable Beef).  Is it possible to be “hard of reading”?  If it were possible, I imagine that would make for some intriguing Instant Messaging.  It might go something like this:

BritneyPhan2204: Did you see Conan O’Brien last night?

JoeTehPlummer: Did my knee colon siren last rights?  I was a little gassy, yes.

BritneyPhan2204: What? no!

JoeTehPlummer: What did you call me?

BritneyPhan2204: I didn’t call you anything!

JoeTehPlummer: You had a fall with medicine?  Are you addicted to Flinstones Chewables again?

BritneyPhan2204: That’s not what I said!  And no, I’ve been clean for 3 months.

JoeTehPlummer: I’m sorry I still can’t understand you.  You’re going to have to type louder.

BritneyPhan2204: IS THIS BETTER?

JoeTehPlummer: You got an Irish Setter?  That’s great!  What’s his name?

BritneyPhan2204: NO!

JoeTehPlummer: Noah?  That’s a cute name for an Irish Setter!

BritneyPhan2204: NO.  I WAS WAS ASKING YOU IF YOU SAW CONAN O’BRIEN LAST NIGHT.

JoeTehPlummer: Well, if you’re just going to yell, I’m leaving.

***JoeTehPlummer is offline***

That HAS to be it.  I’ll try to type louder next time so all of you can enjoy it.

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  1. Mr. President
    March 15, 2009 at 12:08 am

    Wow what a great looking President. Could drop a couple of pounds in the face, but overall perfect! Yes this was my lunch break—which is why all your post should be completed by noon or 1
    Sometimes I have to take a late lunch because I am busy saving Farmer & Allstate customers $$ on their insurance. Many first went to http://www.jameskoppang.com to start that process.
    Only bad part of this post is this Josh Webb guy. I will not allow a coup! watch your back!!

    • kylebaxter
      March 15, 2009 at 12:10 am

      10 Bonus Points for your use of the word “coup”.

  2. Phil
    March 15, 2009 at 1:32 am

    I finally read Huckleberry Finn last year, and it’s actually a pretty decent book. That Twain fellow was very talented, and I will not allow you to besmirch his good name (fishing for Bonus points for the use of “besmirch”).

    • kylebaxter
      March 15, 2009 at 10:39 pm

      -5 points for shamelessly disregarding the sanctity of the “Bonus Points” system.

      10 points for originality.

      +5 points on the day. Not bad.

  3. Kari Skinner
    March 15, 2009 at 1:53 am

    I definitely think your theory rings true for text messages. I don’t know how many times I have had a text conversation and at least one of us gets completely confused and reads everything in a completely different context.

    I would like to apply for position #2. I believe I should automatically qualify because one of my nicknames from child hood was “Kar Kar #2”.

    Also, I am currently working on a tribute video to be released at the premiere.
    I want that #2 spot.

    Period.

    Or I will cry.

    Loudly.

    (louder than Rocco)

  4. March 15, 2009 at 10:15 am

    I definitely think your theory rings true for text messages. I don’t know how many times I have had a text conversation and at least one of us gets completely confused and reads everything in a completely different context.

    I would like to apply for position #2. I believe I should automatically qualify because one of my nicknames from child hood was “Kar Kar #2”.

    Also, I am currently working on a tribute video to be released at the premiere.
    I want that #2 spot.

    Period.

    Or I will cry.

    Loudly.

    (louder than Rocco)
    Ooops, wanted have added good post! Waiting on your next one!

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