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Losing the Battle of Technology

The older I get, the more I lose touch with technology.  I used to be good.  I could send an e-mail, which was more than anyone older than my generation could do.  Now children emerge from the womb with an iPhone and a Jonas Brothers t-shirt.  They come standard with babies, I guess.

Not to incessantly complain, but the Nintendo Wii’s sole purpose is to make me understand exactly how out of shape I am.  I played for 20 minutes yesterday, and my left arm is killing me.  It feels like I lifted weights all weekend.  Since when are video games supposed to give you any exercise?  When I was a young boy, they taught us that lethargy and gluteal gigantism go hand in hand with video games.  Leave it to the Japanese to export us a not-so-subtle hint that we are blobs of ever-increasing mass.

If you think about it, the vast majority of technological advances have been for our entertainment, and not for the betterment of mankind.  Think of how many varieties of robotic replacements fingers are on the market (probably like one kind or something; I don’t know, I didn’t do the research) versus the number of volumes of Guitar Hero man has sought to create.  I mean, I know if I was missing a finger, I would want to get a robotic one so I wouldn’t miss out on Guitar Hero for the rest of my life.

I think if I were to accidentally lose a finger in an accident or even on purpose, I think it would be my ring finger.  It’s always getting into things like car doors, can openers, electrical sockets, etc.  It’s only a matter of time before it falls of completely.  Wait, how did I get on to this subject?  No matter.

The only technology that’s still familiar to me is stop-motion.  It was around when I was a kid, and it’s probably the only technical thing I can do better than 10-year-olds.  I know I could still take them in a fight, but what would be the point?  Therefore, I have prepared a little stop-motion ocular extravaganza for your enjoyment.  Actually, you probably saw there was a video and entirely skipped the last 2 paragraphs.  Why am I still typing?  Here goes!

Many thanks to my cat, Rocco.  He did quite well with his dramatic pauses before staring intently into the camera.  I have no idea why I continue to embarrass myself in this way.  It’s probably because I care so much about you, the reader.  I hope you’re happy now.

On a side note, I got word this weekend that the video with me as Pee Wee Herman will be on YouTube sometime this week!  No need to go searching for it.  I will post it here as soon as it becomes available.  Oh, it’s so exciting!

  1. shauna aguilar
    March 2, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Wow, I like that thingy you did with your eyes..wild. I can tell you have been watching some Janet Jackson videos lately..you say you don’t watch music videos though???? Yes, it’s very embarassing when I have to hand over my telephone to my 16 year old son so he can help me figure it out..that’s pretty sad.

    • kylebaxter
      March 2, 2009 at 1:58 pm

      True, I do not watch any music videos. Any resemblance between my music videos and anyone else’s videos is purely coincidental. I might have to start watching a few videos, though, because I ran out of ideas pretty fast.

  2. Molly
    March 2, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Very clever! I laughed pretty hard. How did those self-taken pictures turn out?

    • kylebaxter
      March 2, 2009 at 6:01 pm

      Yeah, not so good. I only used the flash, to be honest. It was for effect. Like using blanks in a gun for movies or Nancy Pelosi for Speaker of the House.

  3. Brie
    March 3, 2009 at 12:32 am

    ..I kept hoping that Claire would walk in again…

    • kylebaxter
      March 3, 2009 at 6:10 am

      You and me both. But, it was like 3 in the morning, so the odds that she would break from her deep slumber were slim to none.

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