Home > Most Everything > The One Thing I Know Most About

The One Thing I Know Most About

In my college Composition class, my professor always told us (her students) the easiest way to write is to write about something you know.  I searched the depths of my brain for a truly unique and thought-provoking topic.  I wanted to find something so intertwined with humanity that you would be overcome with emotion and possibly thoughts of baking me homemade banana bread.  There’s only one truly deep topic I know anything about, and that is:

Being Handsome

This may sound a little elementary, but if you get the choice between being handsome and being ugly, choose handsome.  It offers way more perks.  I’m still surprised at how many people, in this day and age, still choose ill-fitting pants, goofy haircuts, and American Eagle.  I rest my case.  Fortunately, my readers are all on the same page with me.  I boast daily to anyone who will listen that my readership is among the best-dressed in all of cyberspace.  Look at me, getting off on a tangent.  Back to the perks and drawbacks of being unreasonably handsome.

Perks:

–People will treat you well
–People won’t walk away when you sit down at a lunch table
–I will quit personally sending you hate letters filled with rancid bacon.

That last one isn’t really my fault.  I just have a lot of stamps I’m trying to use up before the postage goes up in May.  I knew I should’ve gotten “forever stamps” instead of giving in to the pressure from that pushy stamp counter lady to buy those 42-cent collectible “Dancing With the Stars” stamps.

As with anything that has perks, there are drawbacks to being incredibly good-looking.  I just can’t think of any right now.

Some might say that you can increase your attractiveness by getting tattoos and piercings.  When it comes to altering your body (tattoos and piercings), who can really say what looks good?  I can, for one.  And I will, come to think of it.  Right now, as a matter of fact.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?  You see, that’s a common misconception.  I aim to disband this convocation of free-wheeling ideas right now.

In my youth, I went out,  had my ear pierced, and had two tattoos inked into my skin.  I do not regret any of them for a minute.  Let’s discuss these two options as beauty enhancers.

Piercings

A well-placed earring, tongue stud, or butt zipper can enhance anyone’s natural beauty.  There is something called “too much of a good thing”, though.  A misplaced piercing can look horrific, while a simple classy piercing can be both trendy and elegant.  (The elegant one is the neck ring.)  My mother always told me she would kick me out of the house if I ever had any piercings.  In my ever-vigilant attempts to test my mother’s love, I had my ear pierced on my 18th birthday.  I kept it in until last Wednesday.  I almost let it go by without any fanfare, but it was a big step for me.  I have had it out for over a week, and I can’t say I really miss it.  I took it out for professional reasons, fully intending to put it back in at the end of the day.  I never did.  It was just time.  *sigh*  But seriously, nose piercings kind of freak me out.  (You didn’t really think I was going to show you a picture of a butt zipper, did you?)

Tattoos

I am definitely FOR tattoos.  As I said before, I have two of them.  They are both on my right arm.  There are still some people I work with who probably don’t know I have a tattoo, let alone two on my right arm.  I think everyone ought to have at least one, just to try it.  Something small, like a flaming skull sitting on top of a baby dolphin vomiting into a bathtub filled with electric eels smothered in tartar sauce that is a few months past the expiration date because some pimply-faced teenager working at your local supermarket did check the expiration dates when he was specifically asked to.  Small.  Like that.

With my earring, I was able to take it out and leave it on the bathroom counter.  With my tattoo, I’ll probably wait until I’m 30 to take it out, but it probably won’t fit on the bathroom counter.  I’ll probably fold it up nicely, wrap it in newspaper, and put it in a box in my attic (so I can show my child 15 years from now).

Slogan for the KBP T-Shirt

Thanks, everyone who voted on the t-shirt slogan for the Kyle Baxter Project!  The winning phrase is “Help Save the World: Support the Kyle Baxter Project”.  It may get modified slightly (make it shorter), but the spirit of the phrase will remain.  You are all really awesome to participate in this!  I have already received a few e-mails, FB messages, and texts asking me about when and where shirts will be available.  Claire and I need to hammer out the details of the shirts, but I want to have pricing available soon.  We’ll make sure that you have plenty of options in terms of trendy shirt styles for the gals (of course, trendy shirts will cost a tiny bit more).  Not sure if having more than one color option will change the price.  I will look into that and post the info to the Facebook group, Fans of the Kyle Baxter Project.  If you have not already joined, then go do it!

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  1. James Koppang
    February 14, 2009 at 12:21 am

    Great post. I will have to agree with the piercings they make an average looking man look somewhat unique. I had 3 at one time. Mine got taken out after one day working construction for this old guy and on break I was taking a nap and he took a staple gun and shot a staple thru the hoop of earing obviously I quickly woke up and about ripped my ear off. He then proceeded to tell me he really did not like earings. They came out that night. Years later I still have the holes which provided a very awkward moment with my 6 year old son who noticed them and asked if had earrings like a girl… I did what every great father would do… I ignored him. Sometimes beauty enhancers can come back to bite you ( paul here is where you should insert a pic of Michael Jackson) Thanks again Paul for keeping me entertained as I watch the parking lot of this fine Holiday Inn. Keep up the good work and lets save the world!!!… from being ugly!!!

  2. February 14, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    I remember the first time I met you I thought to myself, “My niece did very well for herself, this guy is a really good looking guy. I can’t wait to see if he’s got a brain.” After reading some of your posts…well…that question has been answered. When I see a tattoo, I always try to picture how it’s gonna look in 20 years, that’s when the true beauty of it will show. As for piercings… I once had a parent tell me, “if you cut your hair and get rid of that earing you’ll get more students.” 15 years later I can tell you she was right.

    • kylebaxter
      February 14, 2009 at 11:16 pm

      Uncle Brett! Great to have you among my readership! That’s why I got my tattoos on my arm, where the least amount of wrinkling will happen. Fortunately, they are also high enough up that I can hide them if I came across people who have issues with them. I’m 5 years into my tattoos, and so far, so good, haha.

      You said,
      “After reading some of your posts…well…that question has been answered.”

      Is the answer to that question yes or no? haha, I hope it’s yes (if you got beyond the post where I’m dancing around like a fool).

      Great to hear from you!

  3. February 15, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    You took your earring out????? I had no idea!
    CatanalisckonPoor! LOL!

    I agree with uncle Brett on all of the above! … and I sure did do well for myself 🙂

    xoxo!

    Claire

  4. Joshua
    February 16, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    dude you took your earring out too? i did just because i wanted people to kinda start taking me a little more seriously, and i too realized i didn’t miss it once it was out. Every now and then i do reach up to try and twist it but all i fell is the hole. keep stayin handsome tiger!!!

  5. Morgan
    February 25, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    I read a few sentences in a saw that you dissed on American Eagle, I’m very sad by this comment….

    • kylebaxter
      February 25, 2009 at 9:25 pm

      I had to pick a store to pick on. I wrote down 10 stores at random, put them in a hat, and drew a name. It’s sad, but unavoidable. My gut said “just say Hollister”, but I know that would’ve drawn some fire, too. It’s fair, but it’s hard to take, I know.

  6. Rozie
    May 17, 2009 at 11:27 am

    What wrong with nose peircings??…………i got mine done yesterday and im 12……..and i love it i think they looks really pretty!

    • kylebaxter
      May 17, 2009 at 1:13 pm

      Haha, certainly nothing’s wrong with nose piercings. I can’t imagine having one during cold season, but God only knows what would get caught up on it on the inside. Awesome e-mail address, by the way. Death by paper cuts. I like it.

  7. HelenM
    June 12, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    I really want a belly piercing but im only 13 (about to be 14) and my mom would freak. So im just getting somemore earpiercings and ill hold off till im 18 for the belly button.

    But about the belly piercing. Im a very skinny person but i was wondering if you we’re really fat would it look wierd to have a belly piercing. Ive never seen a chubby person with a belly piercing so i have no idea if it would be ok or just gross.

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