Home > Most Everything > Political season closing soon.

Political season closing soon.

I can’t wait until political ads are over! Then I can get back to enjoying Valtrex commercials and Billy Mays’ (the OxiClean guy) beard. “I’M BILLY MAYS, AND I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO HARNESS THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF OXICLEAN!!! DON’T YOU HATE IT WHEN YOU SPILL COFFEE GROUNDS, RED WINE, AND OSTRICH FECES ALL OVER YOUR FAVORITE SMOCK??? WELL, DON’T SELL YOUR OSTRICH FARM JUST YET!!!” And so on. Has anyone else seen his commercials for insurance? I mean, I trust him with my smock, but my insurance? “I’M BILLY MAYS, AND I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW TO HARNESS THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF MEDICARE PART B!!! WITH THIS SUPPLEMENTAL INSURANCE, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR MEDICAL BILLS COVERED BY THE POWER OF HUMANA GOLD PLUS!!! DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH COVERAGE YOU NEED??? THAT’S OK!!! JUST STUFF MONEY IN AN ENVELOPE AND SEND IT TO THE ADDRESS ON YOUR SCREEN!!!” What else is this guy going to get into? “I’M BILLY MAYS, AND I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW TO HARNESS THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF YOUR VERY OWN POWER CHAIR AT NO COST TO YOU!!!”  God help us if he wants to start selling climbing gear.  “I’M BILLY MAYS, AND I WANT TO TEACH YOU HOW TO HARNESS THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF HARNESSES!!!  IF YOU CAN HARNESS THE HARNESS, THEN HARNESSING WILL BE EASIER THAN EVER TO HARNESS!!!”  I think the universe might just collapse on itself.
Has anyone else heard of this brand new phenomenon called “Xanga”?  Believe it or not, the name is actually pronounced like “Zanga”, similar to “xylophone”.  Crazy, I know!  It is mind-blowing what the kids are catching in their Internets these days.  I checked one of these out, and they are quite impressive!  One young person (sk8r_dood182) had even posted some clipart and .gif files (moving pictures!) on his page.  One of these days, kids are going to be using the internet to send messages to one another, and not just for posting clipart and pathetic cries for attention.
Speaking of new advances in technology, I’ve been working on my GeoCities page for quite some time.  In fact, if you type in my “web address” (www.geocities.com/billymaysbeard_softasitisbeautiful), you will find a delightful clipart picture of a stick figure holding a shovel and appearing to dig a ditch.  And over that . . . get this . . . it says in bold letters: UNDER CONSTRUCTION!  I can’t wait until it’s complete!
Finally, I’ve heard of something coming down the pike called “MySpace”, but it’s several years away from completion.  Apparently, it will streamline the way creepy old men find children.  Also, instread of having to make pictures out of text, you will actually be able to “upload” (I think “upload” means the same thing as “download”, but backwards and topwise) pictures.
 
Example of text picture:
 
        HAIR HAIR HAIR
     HAIR HAIR HAIR HAIR
HAIR HAIR HAIR HAIR HAIR
 
   EYEBROW        EYEBROW
        EYE                 EYE
        EYE                 EYE
                  NOSE
                    NOSE
                  NOSE NOSE
                        NOSE
 
     SMILE                     SMILE
          SMILE SMILE SMILE
                SMILE SMILE
 
 
I just totally drew a self-portrait out of words!  This internet thing is really going to take off one of these days!
 
Now here’s an example of an actual picture that you might find on this “MySpace” in a couple of decades:
 
Well, I’m still working on it.
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  1. Mindy
    March 29, 2009 at 1:12 am

    That is funny! I love the text picture!

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